I made what was possibly the greatest save in soccer in the history of gay sports. The enemy advanced upon us, to which they added with a shot straight to the goal. I was infact not the goalie, so it was imperative that I not use my hands. I literally jumped into the air, and like something out of Matrix everything slowed down. As I landed, the ball was reflected off my knee, and the game played on.

Unfortunately, words cannot describe said event. Talk to one of the witnesses, he might have a better story. But most likely not.