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McJesus
you're not nearly as handsome as me

Age 32, Male

Miscreant

Joined on 10/4/05

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KEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOC

Posted by McJesus - March 2nd, 2008


SIR I HAVE NOT UPLOADED A COMIC IN EONS, ALLOW ME TO END MYSELF TO APEASE YOU SIR


Comments

I don't get it.

You're not supposed to.

*hacks*

Now all periods on this page are not periods at all. They are now pixels of a different color than the background.

BAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh dear..

Found out a way to solve the situation, and yes, Frank is that tough and....I just shat my pants thinking about that.

LaD: MCJESUS!!!!!!!!

...........Shit, he's fucked, we don't have Pulse Rifles or Guass Rifles. (Military only and the only weapons that can actually hurt Frank)

C.Cube:......You know what? We're not going on another trip, looking for Mcjesus' body if Frank didn't completely FUBARed it, and looking for a doctor that can perform revival on someone who's just been Franked. I'm going foward in time, getting a pair of binoclouars that has a range of 1000 yards, and giving it to the police chief for us to use. *turns the knob on the portal gun* See ya!

*PHHHHHHEOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*

*back at the meeting with the police chief*

Police Chief: And your stakeout will be here, so, any questions?

Mcjesus: Yeah, if the meeting is over there, then how come we're in a building that's 800 yards away from it to watch the meeting?

Police Chief: Because I have a pair of binoclouars that has a range of 1000 yards and has a infared laser that can pick up sound, it's a prototype, since they're making ranges much longer than that.

Mcjesus: Oh.

*several hours later*

LaD: Shhh, they're just arriving.

Brown Suit 1: Is everything ready?

Scientist 1:.....yes.

Brown Suit Leader?: Good, then we can bring out Frank Horrigan.

Scientist 2: FRANK HORRIGAN? (<a href="http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Frank_H">http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Frank_H </a> orrigan) Are you crazy? HE'S VIRTUALLY THE ANTICHRIST?!?!

Brown Suit 2: *points AK-101 at him* Bring him out.

Scientist 2: *gulp*Ye-yes sir. *flips some switches*

Brown Suit Leader?: Good. *portal starts to activate* Yes, YES! Get the tranquilzers, and the reprogramming machine!

Brown Suit 3: Already have the tranquilzers sir, AM-AN 200 and 264 are getting the reprogramming machine.

*portals completely stablizes, then loud banging is heard*

BSL: He comes....

Scientist 1: .....................................
....I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! *tries to get away*

BS2: Oh no you don't. *burst shoots Scientist 1 in the legs*

BSL: HE IS HERE!

*a two feet long leg comes out, then another two feet long leg, then the rest of the body, which makes the entire height of Frank 9 feet.*

Frank:............Who are you people? You are not the Enclave.

*at the hideout*

LaD: Holy shit, that guy's huge.

Mcjesus: Really? Let me see......

(Look at the page about Frank Horrigan and the picture of his head)

McJesus: Woah, pretty huge.
LaD: Wanna blow him up?
McJesus: Ooh, sounds fun. Anybody got a nuke.
Chief: Yep, here ya go. *hands MJ a nuke* Trebuchet's out back.

McJesus: Yay!

Ohhoh! I get it now!

You're supposed to.

Truth was here

Amen.

*facility explodes with a nuclear force, but Frank is seen coming out unharmed*

LaD: Holy shit! ....Wait a minute..........you know the irony of this? That 2mm bullets and energy blasts can hurt him, while a nuclear blast can not.

Mcjesus............................we ll, there goes that plan. *throws nuke away*

Chief: OH SHIT! *runs after nuke*

Chief: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!! *dives in slow-mo*

*nuke breaks apart*

Chief: *calls NEST and National Guard* Everybody, stay away from the broken nuke, it's leaking plutonium plus we have a guy who's immune to nearly all modern weapons we have!

Mcjesus: Sir, we'll find Frank for you.

Chief: Thank you for the volunteer, but Frank is a madman, I'll give you a dossier on him, he's number one of the Top Ten List of Dimesionally Known Criminals.

*the dossier*

Name: Frank Horrigan.
Age: 30
Birth Year: 2211 in the Fallout Universe
First Death: Defeated by the Chosen One in 2242
Second Death: After being revived by the remnants of the Enclave in 2300, was killed by the Prisoner in 2310.

Life Status: Revived (again)

Short Summary:
Frank Horrigan was the Enclave's finest instrument of warfare. Horrigan was born in 2211. Originally a Secret Service Agent for the President of the Enclave, who was killed by the Chosen One. Then, with the help of several Enclave defectors, was killed by the Chosen One, and his head popped off his suit which was failing, and his only way of surviving.

Frank was then revived by the remnants of the Enclave, to destroy the Prisoner and prevent Presper from launching the nukes, needless to say, he died when the Prisoner head shotted him, before the Prisoner redirected the nukes to someplace where there was no life at all.

Frank was then revived when the America Liberty terrorist group, specifically the ``New`` York cell, revived him, needless to say, the New York Cell, recognizable by there brown suits, were all but wiped out.

*we close the dossier*

C.Cube: Shit, this guy`s tough.

Chief: Yeah, and the Army is the only one who has the weapons who can stop him, but they say they can`t divert resources to take care of Frank until they stop the interdimesional bomb from exploding.

*National Guard and NEST arrives*

NEST Squad Leader: Everybody clear the area! We will start to deradiate the area.

National Guard General: So, Frank has been revived again....

Chief: Yeah, and he`s meaner than ever, and the Army can`t even help.....

Guard General: Hmmmm, I`ll probably get dishonorably discharged for this, but Frank destroyed half of my relatives, and I`m not going to let him escape. *turns to me* You, you`re the leader of this group aren`t you?

LaD: Um, yeah, plus-

General: Good, now ,take my key and go to the nearby Fort Damian and use it there, infiltrate the facility, and steal Gauss Guns, Pulse Rifles, Pip Boys, just steal whatever's the latest stuff except for the actual blueprints, make sure the 'prints stay.

LaD and Mcjesus: Got it.

General: Now go out there, and save the world from an age of tyranny, plus, in order to make sure you guys can go home without being harassed, you might want to check up on any clues about the interdimesional bomb.

McJesus *dives to computer* The interdimensional bomb will destroy everything! Every planet, every galaxy, ever universe and parrallel universe, every single dimension.
LaD: Not cool!

That was a very sexy comic.

Sure was.

LaD: Wait a minute, why bring back Frank if the bomb was going to destroy everything, and why set it off in the first place?
*CRASH*

IE8 Beta 1 Crashed.

Campbell: LaD, You can't do that! You'll change reality, you'll create a reality paradox!

Vaultboy: We're currently expericening technical diffculties, please wait.

McJesus: *whistles*
Vaultboy: ...
Vaultboy: ...
Vaultboy: Can you hold?
McJesus: Yes.
LaD: Dammit, I'm the one talking!

*presses continue*

LaD: Wait a minute, why bring back Frank if the bomb was going to destroy everything, and why set it off in the first place?

Chief: Where were you? They annouced that they want the area they marked "The United States" to be considered independent from The World British Government, or they will set off the bomb. Also, they want 200 interdimesional MIRVs, 500, 000 Heavily Modified Challenger 20s, 20,000,000 L101C4s, and 10,000,000 Dragonskin Armors.

Lad: Holy shit, that's a lot of weaponry and armor.

Chief: I know, now go to the fort, and get yourself Frank-tested weaponry.

LaD: Got it, let's go team!

*at Fort Damian*

C.Cube: Damn, this place got everything, heat-seeking turrets, portal proof walls, top of the line security gates...

LaD: *radio* Tom, you set the charges on the power generators yet?

Tom: Yes, BBR is currently setting up a distraction so the majority of the guards will leave.

Mcjesus: Good, then everything's going according to-

LaD: Don't Jinx it.

kekeke

BBR: Distraction ready.

Tom: Good, bosses, when do we begin?

Mcjesus: BBR, start the distraction....NOW!

*at BBR*

BBR: Got it! *pulls a rope*

*a cage door opens from a nearby tree, dropping about 8 or 9 brown suits near the power generators building*

BS1: Shit...my head....

Tom: Cutting power now.

*BOOM, GIganitic explosion comes from the generators building, with a small figure coming out*

British Guard (Leader?): All units, the generators have been blown up and several New York terrorists have been spotted. All ready units, head towards the remains of the generators building.

*many guards move away from the entrance*

LaD: Ok people, move to the entrance, but AVOID any contact with the enemy, we're trying to do this with very little bloodshed.

C.Cube: God damn it, and I was so ready to kill too, no wonder you made us switch into leather armor and FZ FALs.

LaD: Ok and *radio virbrates* oh that's probably the others. *answers*

My Adoptive Mother's Grandmother (MAMG): Hello child!

LaD: Ah fuck...

MAMG: *random babbling*

LaD: Why do I feel weak....

MAMG: *more random babbling about shit*

LaD: Oh god, my LIFE bar, her babbling is making my LIFE go down!

MAMG: *shouting at me for using a cuss word several minutes ago*

LaD: *presses off button repeatedly* OH GOD, SHE MADE IT SO I CAN'T TURN OFF THE CONVERSation...

MAMG: *do I need to repeat myself again?*

LaD: Aw....shit...

Mcjesus: *slow mo* LLLLLLAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD!

*I fall down and die*

Chief: LaD? Lad?! LAD!!!!!!!!!

General: We have lost our only hope...

Mcjesus: Hey!

General: He was the only one who had the key to the entrance key, and I made it so it wouldn't work without his body salts!

Mcjesus: aw fu

British Guard: HEY! *exclamation over head*

Mcjesus: OH SHI-*gets shot up*

Chief and General: Mcjesus? Mcjesus?! MCJESUS!!!!!!!!

GAME OVER

Restart from latest savepoint? (Before MAMG contacted me.)

kekeke

Whoops, I meant My Mother's Adoptive Grandmother. (MMAG)

*bwoop*

McJesus *dives to computer* The interdimensional bomb will destroy everything! Every planet, every galaxy, ever universe and parrallel universe, every single dimension.
LaD: Not cool!

Ur initials, McJesus is the same as MichealJackson.

Funny, I noticed that ages ago. :3

I have understood nothing. :3

All is well.

Vaultboy: Too far.

*presses continues again*

C.Cube: God damn it, and I was so ready to kill too, no wonder you made us switch into leather armor and FZ FALs.

LaD: Don't you even think about *radio vibrates* Oh no you don't *presses block button* Ok, *radio* Everybody ready?

Tom: Ready.

Bryce: Ready and I finally get some text time!

BBR: Ready

Leejay: Ready.

Mcjesus: Ok, sneak your way to the entrance, cover LaD, don't forget to put your silencers on your guns, and if possible, try avoiding killing people, try knocking them out.

*stripping scene*

Blonde guy: I'm going to get into this hind.

General: Hey Guys, go sneak that shit.

LaD: Jesus christ, we're doing MGA parodies now?

*inside the base*

Mcjesus:..........why the hell is there snow inside this base?

General: It's one of the eco-rooms, they're experimenting to see if life can be developed on ice-cold planets. Try to avoid leaving your footprints.

LaD: Got it.

*several seconds later, and Bryce forgetting to cover his footprints*

British Guard 2: What the- *radio* This is BR-2, we have evidence of enemy intruders.

*bunch of troops show up*

LaD: Hey what the fuck??!?!

Chief: LaD? Mcjesus!?!?! GUYS!?!?!??!?!

*IRL*

Shut the fuck up!

Chief: Sorry General, I thought they were dead.

LaD: We didn't even break a sweat.

*Mcjesus breaks a sweat, and energy beams come from him, and kills two dogs*

Mcjesus: Shit, I killed two dogs by sweating.

LaD: Ok, we did our MGA parody, let's go now.

LaD: Ohshi, rocketlauncher bogey!
*slow mo dive*

*narrowly dodges the missile*

LaD: WTF?

*strange very heavily armored cyborg? comes out with two rocket launchers*

Cyborg?: This is British territory, interdimesionals do not belong here.

Mcjesus: Oh great, we got a Vulcan Rav-OH SHIT! *dodges a rocket*

Bryce: How the hell do we take him out!??! Solid Snake had rocket launchers to retailate, all we have are FZ FALs, JHP magazines, and AP magazines......oh.

kekeke

Cyborg?: Cryptic Metaphor

*many spent AP magazines later*

Cyborg?: Don't think this is the end. *press button on a remote*

*slight rumble*

Bryce: What the he- *!* OH SHIT, BIG ASS EXPLOSION, OUR WAY!

C.Cube: RUN YOU IDIOTS!

*running sequence*

Everybody (Bryce, You, I, and C.Cube): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

British Guard 2 and 1: HEY! *spots explosion* Oh shi-*gets consumed by explosion*

LaD: There's the blast door, and it's closing!

Mcjesus: I'm nearly the-*trips* *slowmo* awwwww ccrraapp. *collides with ground*

Bryce: Mcjesus!

LaD: *runs to you * Help me pick him up!

Bryce: Got it *picks up your legs* Now let's run to the door!

LaD: JUMP!

*we both jump, sliding on our backs with you on us, and we just slide past the blast door, with Bryce passing it by a few millimeters just before it closed*

C.Cube: Christ, that was close.

*radio*

Tom: Hey guys, we got some new stuff from the base!

LaD: What is it?

Tom: First, Pip Boys 3 Deluxes, then Armored sneaking suits with inbuilt sound suppressors, then some grenades, Nikita missiles and launcher, with inbuilt anti-ground and anti-air capabilities, C4, and something the tech boys have been developing called SEMICO, known as Secure Mind Communicator.

LaD: How did you get all this stuff?

Tom: A female personnel from the base helped, she's currently working as a insider. Want this stuff?

LaD: Damn right we want this stuff, but how can you get it to us?

Tom: Portals, set you portal frequency to 1295.50 and fire a orange portal, then I'll set my portal gun to the same, but I'll fire a blue portal, and we'll transfer the stuff.

LaD: Got it, setting up now.

*zoom out a little*

*While I was tuning the frequency, what we didn't notice that a camera was watching us, the guard who was supposed to be watching all the camera feeds, but he was in the bathroom*

*radio* Tom: Ok, and, stuff is being sent to you.....now.

*bunch of stuff comes through*

Mcjesus: Hmm, nice PipBoys...

C.Cube: Damn fine sneaking suits.

Bryce: Badass Nikita and C4.

LaD: But where's the SEMICO? All I see left are a bunch of hypos....

*radio* Tom: Simple, the hypos contain the nanomachines needed for SEMICO to function. Why do you think MInd was part of it's name?

LaD: Well, I guess it's injection time everybody.

*everybody injects it*

*radio* Tom: This will be the last radio call, you should hear a beeping sound...now.

*BEEDLYBEEP, BEEDLYBEEP*

*SEMICO* LaD: So, this is SEMICO........

SMC(Stands for SEMICO, a abbreviation for an abbreviation) Tom: Yep, now we're near the tank hangar main door, it leads to the main armory of the base, and where's the really great stuff is. Remyl will tell you more.

SMC Remyl: Hello LaD: I hope everything's in order.

SMC LaD: Sure is.

SMC C.Cube: Hey guys!

SMC LaD: Shh C., now, can you open the blast door?

SMC Remyl: Done, and Done, need any more sexual tension?

SMC LaD: Nah, I'm good.

LaD: Now, where were *looks at camera* ...........oh shi-*alarm* HEIGH, HEIGH, HEIGH, HEIGH, HEIGH, HEIGH, HEIGH*

*intercom* Intruder alert in Communication tower, all guards, to Communications tower, four intruders have been spotted.

*Two British Guards break down the guard*

British Guard 5: There they are, they must have caused the warehouse explosion! *aims guns at us*

kekeke

Damnit, I meant "Two British guards break down the door" not guard.

Bryce: I'LL HANDLE THIS.
Bryce: *raises hand in a stop motion*

British Guard 6/7th: FIRE!

*firing*

Bryce: *pelted by bullets*

McJesus: Goddammit Bryce.
Bryce: Remember our deal assface.
McJesus: It shall be as you asked.
LaD: *kills the british guards*
LaD: That's the last of 'em. Carry Bryce's corpse with you, use him as a melee weapon.

British Guard 8: *!* HEY!

LaD: RUN!

*MGS Alert Theme plays*

LaD: *shoots a guard* Keep on running!

Mcjesus* *gets shot in the butt* Hey, *takes out pistol and shoots two guards* That's how we do it in my neighborhood!

LaD: How long are these stairs?

*several minutes later, and lots of stairs*

*alarm is called off*

LaD: Finally....*BEEDLYBEEP, BEEDLYBEEP* Let me answer that...

*puts finger to SEMICO activator*

SMC LaD: What is it Remyl?

SMC Remyl: Well, since you can't go down, there's a walkway on the roof of the tower that leads to the tank hangar.

SMC LaD: Thanks, I got a rope, so that should be good enough.

SMC Remyl: Good, the rest of your team is still waiting for you.

SMC BBR: Damn right.

LaD: Ok, now where's that revival hypo....found it. *hypos Bryce's corpse with it*

Bryce: ooohhhhh, my head.....

C.Cube: Welcome back to the living buddy.

Bryce: Well, at least this can't get any worst, right?

LaD: Oh you had to say it..

*Hind comes out*

Blond Guy: Hello brother.

LaD: WTF? Wait, are any of you related to this guy?

Blond Guy: You don't know? I'm YOUR brother.

LaD: That can't be, I don't even know you...

Blond Guy: I'm your shadow, the one known as DaL! But it's time YOU were taken out of the picture! *fires missile*

Mcjesus: DUCK!

*missile hits Bryce square in the head*
Bryce: Goddammit Willy.
*bryce dies*

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